Conversation with Lindsay… Lindsay: Mommy, how long do you think Nacho will live? Me: With my luck, probably 18…unless all his teeth fall out and he can’t eat. Lindsay: I’ll feed him applesauce.
Conversation with the girls… Lindsay (singing): I’ll stick out my chin, and grin, and say… Hailey (singing): I’ll stick out my chin, and grin, and fart in your faaaace…See, he’s grinning because he’s gonna fart in their face.
Conversation with Lindsay… Lindsay: Hailey has to sit in the back. That will be a blow for her. Conner: A blow?? Lindsay: I can talk English good, Dad.
Conversation with the Kids… Rory: Daddy, would you rather lose your thumbs in a car crash avoiding a bear or would you rather hit the bear and nothing happens? Conner: Hit the bear. Me: Kill the bear. Rory: What if it was a tiny deer? Me: Kill it. Every time. Rory, seriously? It’s an animal. Henry: See, now they understand. They’re just animals. Hailey: I would rather kill it. Then stuff it!
Conversation with Hank… Me: Hank, there’s fake crab…that you made me buy… Hank: I know…I don’t know what I was thinking…I’m not even hungry actually. Me: Then why did open the fridge and the pantry? Hank It’s just what I do…